Questions and Answers                                                 Home

By Pattie.                                                                    Next Story



Title: Questions and Answers

Rated: PG

Category: MA, MSR, MT

Spoilers: The Blessing Way. Near the end of Season 7.

Summary: Mulder dreams, and he finds not all his dreams are
bad.

Feedback: Gratefully acknowledged at ?

Archive: Gossamer. I usually take care of the rest, post it to
my website and give permission if I am asked.

Disclaimer:

Author's Note: * A line taken from The Blessing Way. This
story was entered the the Mulder's Refuge Challenge for
October, 2006: "In My Dreams".



Our most haunting fears, our highest aspirations, even ideas
we haven't given thought to yet, all these exist and frolic
through the playground sleep provides. We dream in order to
preserve our sanity. Often we dream to fulfill our deepest
wishes, fight our fiercest internal battles or attain goals
we secretly desire.

In my dreams, I conquer the foes who snatched Samantha in her
most tender years, and proudly present her to our Mom and Dad.
Her age varies, but most often she's still 8, cannot remember
that fateful night. Rather, she remembers the fight over "The
Magician" over the Watergate hearings. Sometimes I pat her on
the back and jokingly whisper, "The hearings are still going to
be on next week. I wouldn't plan on 'The Magician' if I were you.

In my dreams, I expose the most heinous conspiracy anyone could
imagine. With Scully by my side, I thank the Senate, Congress and
FBI for the honors bestowed upon us. But, the dreams lack the
evidence I found, and I suddenly find myself naked before all.
Held up for ridicule for all to see.

In my dreams, I hold Scully tightly after I have found her. She
was only lost in the woods and suffering mild exposure after a
couple of days in Duane Barry's confinement. When I awake, I
realize it was only a dream. How could I undo whatever indignities
she endured at the hands of her captors? The memories of those
agonizing months she was missing haunts me in the day.

In my dreams, the nation discovers many, many people were abducted
by those who also took Scully, and armaments are gathered to fight
a battle we must win. Scully is immersed in research to duplicate
the much coveted vaccine, which I found in that very same dream.
But then everything drifts into a mist, and I try to call out for
Scully with a voice that won't make a sound no matter how hard I
try.

My father came to me in my dreams once, when no one thought I
would live. He hadn't expected to see me that soon. New Mexico
drew me to a horrendous underground discovery, and for that I
was left to die in a fire, courtesy of my father's old friend.
I remember the words of my father: "The thing that would destroy
me, the truth I felt you must never learn is the truth you will
find if you are to go forward."* My body, soul and mind were
fighting for the life that I was determined to hang on to, to
find my sister and find the monsters who had done this to me.

The dreams that haunt me the most are the ones of that fateful
night I couldn't stop Samantha from being taken. In those dreams
I am paralyzed with fear, and after I awake, I feel the same
tears that stain my pillow every time that dream comes upon me.

What are the answers these dreams are trying to show me? Just
as I was relentlessly curious as a child, I am still trying to
find the questions I need to ask to show me what these dreams
mean.

Another dream is to give Scully the closure she needs in order
to know her sister's murderer.

A most astonishing dream has visited me for the past few months.
I sit in her apartment looking at a picture of Scully holding a
baby, me at at her side. She looks so happy, contented and it's
as though she has all she wants. I'm packing my bags and going
somewhere. I have no idea where I'm going, but I hope my
journey will yield all the answers for which I dream.


END